We know that lack-lustre and poorly managed mentoring relationships run the risk of causing more harm than good to the young people we are trying to help. But have you ever considered that poor mentoring matches may also risk the reputation of our sector?

When we create relationships just to reach a numerical target and don’t take the time to be selective with our matches, our ‘positive’ results will be short lived and so too, will the funding we receive from governments and philanthropic organisations.

So how do we ensure that every match we make is going to have fantastic outcomes for our young people, and at the same time, contribute to the growth of a trusted, quality youth mentoring sector in Australia? Every mentor we recruit needs to be the right person for the job in the first place – and if that takes more time, then so be it. This month’s blog explores the characteristics of mentors whose relationships last the distance and have fantastic results each time.

Creating a strong connection

Firstly, a closeness or connection between the mentoring pair is crucial. Young people who report a strong emotional connection with their mentor see improvements in their personal achievements and report greater feelings of self-worth (Deutsch and Spencer 2009). Successful mentoring relationships, then, are those that develop a solid bond; a bond which is based on mutual trust and a sense that the mentor and mentee are understood,  liked and respected by one another. Without this, both parties will likely disengage before the mentoring relationship has had a chance to have a positive effect on the young person (Rhodes and Dubois, 2006).

To foster this sense of closeness, mentors should come to the relationship with a positive regard, a sense of authenticity and warmth, be empathetic and provide a balance of appropriate support and challenge (Deutsch and Spencer 2009).

When matching mentors with young people, program coordinators should take into consideration the personal interests of the pair. Do they have anything in common? Share a hobby or the same interests? The pair needs to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. A way of testing this is to have a welcome session with all mentors and mentees and allow them to play ice-breaker games together. At the end of the session, the pairs can elect who they would like to be matched with as a preference based on who they felt they had more things in common with. This works well with older youth (Vella, 2010).

Interestingly, as program coordinators we have a tendency to match pairs based on ethnicity and cultural background, even though the research has yet to show that this has any bearing on the success of the relationships (Grossman and Bulle 2006).

Finally, in our training sessions that we hold with our mentors and young people prior to being matched, we should be raising the issue of conflict and the real likelihood that pairs may experience some form of conflict at some stage. Just because they are placed in a mentoring relationship, carefully designed to be a positive experience, does not make them immune to conflict. By preparing both mentors and mentees for such a situation, we can prevent a premature breakdown in the relationship based on unresolved conflict (Grossman and Rhodes 2002).

The mentor’s approach

The approach that a mentor takes with a young person will set the scene for the relationship. Mentors who take a ‘youth centred approach’ and focus on the developmental needs of the young person are proven to have greater positive impacts, greater relationship quality and a longer match duration than their counterparts who take a more prescriptive approach (Rhodes and Dubois 2006).

Mentors who use a developmental or youth-centred approach tend to devote their efforts to establishing a strong connection with the young person in the early months of the relationship. They place a high value on making the relationship enjoyable and set appropriate goals and expectations which are informed by the young person’s preferences (Rhodes and Dubois 2006). Youth in these developmental relationships report feeling more satisfied and feel closer to their mentors.

Mentors who use a prescriptive approach drive the relationship primarily by their own interests and expectations for the young person, and consequently, are less successful. At the other end of the spectrum are mentors who take an unconditional support approach; no matter what the child or youth does, there are no structures or boundaries in place. These mentors also fail in creating a ‘developmental relationship ’ -  where we know the greatest positive impacts can occur (Deutsch and Spencer 2009).

Therefore, the most successful mentors are those who take what I call the ‘Goldilocks’ approach -  not too hard and not too soft, but with a good balance between the two and a definite focus on the young person.

When recruiting mentors for the role, look for these characteristics that will contribute to the mentor taking a more developmental /  youth centred approach:

• Prior experience in the helping roles or occupations
• Ability to demonstrate appreciation of salient socio-economic and cultural influences in the youth’s life
• A sense of efficacy for being able to mentor young people
• Ability to model relevant behaviours

Duration, Frequency and Consistency of Contact

Once you have the ideal mentor taking the right approach, the contact with the young person needs be both frequent and consistent. Frequency and consistency create reliability, which in turn, is the cornerstone of trust. Without trust, you won’t be able to form the long-lasting bonds which are so essential for creating close relationships (Deutsch and Spencer 2009).

By spending frequent and consistent time with the young person, mentors can create more opportunities to become involved in the young person’s life and thus, more opportunities for encouraging positive changes (Deutsch and Spencer 2009). Young people who have non-parental adults in their lives that they see regularly, report enhanced feelings of security and attachment in interpersonal relationships (Keller, 2005 and Rhodes, 2005 cited in Rhodes and Dubois 2006).

The role of the Mentoring Program

As mentoring organisations we must take responsibility for our role in supporting mentors and mentees to establish and cultivate close, enduring and effective relationships. We must put in practice those features that we know will facilitate this goal (Rhodes and Dubois 2006). To foster the growth and development of high quality mentoring relationships, programs should:

1.    Select mentors who have some experience working with youth
2.    Have expectations for frequency of contact between the mentors and youth
3.    Provide pre-match orientation and training sessions for mentors (and young people)
4.    Provide ongoing training and support for mentors
5.    Provide opportunities for matches to participate in structured activities
6.    Systematic monitoring of the implementation of program practices

Summary

Successful mentoring relationships need to:

• Develop a close bond between the mentor and mentee early on.
• The mentor must take a youth-centred approach and not be too tough or too soft on the young person. The ‘Goldilocks’ approach, with a balance between support and challenges, is ideal.
• There must be frequent and consistent contact between the pair that ideally lasts for twelve months and the program must take responsibility for their part in ensuring they create a conducive and supportive environment for the relationship to flourish.

References:

Deutsch, N. and R. Spencer; (2009). “Capturing the Magic: Assessing the quality of youth mentoring relationships.” New Directions for Youth Development Spring(121): 47-70.

Grossman, J and Rhodes, J; (2002), “the Test of Time: Predictors and Effects of Duration in Youth Mentoring Relationships”; American Journal of Community Psychology; vol.30,no.2, April 2002 pg. 199-219

Grossman, J. B. and M. J. Bulle (2006). “Review of What Youth Programs Do to Increase Connectedness of Youth With Adults.” Journal of Adolescent Health(39).

Rhodes and Dubois, 2006 Rhodes, J. and D. DuBois (2006). “Understanding and Facilitating the Youth Mentoring Movement.” Social Policy Report 20(3): 3-19.

Keller, T. E. (2005a). A systemic model of the youth mentoring intervention. Journal of Primary Prevention, 26, 169-188

Rhodes, J. E. (2005). A model of youth mentoring. In D. L. DuBois & M. J. Karcher (Eds.), Handbook of youth mentoring (pp. 30- 43). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

Vella, K; (2010) New Zealand Youth Mentoring Seminar Presentation; 29 April 2010, Auckland University.